The Vatican Exorcisms [MOVIE REVIEW]

Honestly, I have no clue why I saw this film. Yes I like horror movies... but I hate found-footage movies. This does not mean however that I hate ALL of them. Of course the bad reviews for 'The Vatican Exorcisms' did not exactly help me expecting something good - but of course a horror movie getting poor reviews is nothing new. But... oh man.

Right from the start, terrible. There is no other way to put it. The idea of a "found-footage" movie is thrown right out of the window in the very first scene as we immediately hear background music. The idea of footage that has been found is not exactly so someone can make a movie out of it - more to document it and show what happened to these people. Here however; we have background music, opening credits and cuts like it was a movie. I should warn you however that I am honestly not going to care about spoilers in this review because it is so predictable and so poorly put together that honestly, if I can save anyone from seeing it - makes it worth it. Simply put, 'The Vatican Exorcisms' is an awful, awful movie and might even be the worst horror movie I have in quite a while and out of the horror films that came out in 2013 it is definitely the worst.

With an opening intro that makes it look like a home video that children made, I honestly lost interest right away and just wondered if it was all just going to be a practical joke on the audience - a thought that never left my mind by the way. The music (yes like I said, there is music in this FOUND-FOOTAGE movie) literally sounds like they took it from Toby "Tobuscus" Turner's 'DRAMATIC SONG' and as you can probably tell, it does not fit the tone of a horror movie in the slightest. In fact, not once is the movie legitemately trying to establish any sort of tension that gets under your skin. Apart from one short scene, the first 20 minutes is not at all trying to set a tone that you would have in even the worst kind of horror movie. Yes, the 'Paranormal Activity' series are also quite bad at establishing tension too - but at least they are somewhat trying.

I legitemately do not see why filmmakers are continuing to make found-footage horror movie apart from the budget aspect of it. Yes they are rather cheap to make - but does anyone like to watch them? Nobody saw 'The Vatican Exorcisms' but I can guarantee you that if they had actually tried (and dropped the found-footage part and actually make a movie) it would have made a lot more money. A good horror movie does not need a whole lot of money in order for it to work. The first 'Insidious' movie was produced for a mere $1.5 million and the first 'Sinister' had a budget of $3 million - and that movie had Ethan Hawke in it. Really, making a found-footage movie restrains you so much that I fail to see any case where it would be worth it. At the beginning of every found-footage you of course have to give a reason why they are recording at all times which always takes you out of the movie because whenever that scene DOES occur - you know exactly why it is there and it always comes across as forced. Back to the budget though, if IMDb is to be believed; the budget for 'The Vatican Exorcisms' was a ridiculous $1.1 million (which is insane considering how poor the whole thing looks).

What this movie really tried to capitalize on is the exorcism scenes and I would be lying if I said I am not completely sick by it at this point. Probably the only good exorcism scenes I have seen (I might have forgotten some but whatever) were in 'The Exorcist' (of course) and 'The Conjuring' (which came out the same year). This has become such a boring trend and I hope it is a trend that is going to die very, very soon.

As the movie goes along you see our main character get more and more stressed out - which of course is natural if this was real life. The problem is, this is still a movie and as a movie, we do not get to FEEL everything that he has gone through because everything we could see just looks like the most basic exorcism scenes of all-time. I mean 'The Devil Inside' is a terrible movie (and came out a year earlier) - but the exorcism scenes in that were so much better than they are here so when our main character looks like he is about to break down, we are not buying it because he has just been standing around with a camera and the movie has done such a poor job of developing him that on the most fundamental level we do not care about what happens to him.

Overall, it naturally fails spectacularly as a movie but worst of all - it fails as a found-footage movie too because there is no way even the drunkest teenager would believe this was real. The entire film is edited like a poorly conceived horror movie you would see on YouTube. The music (which should not even be there in the first place) sounds like it came right out of a royalty free music library on the internet. 'The Vatican Exorcisms' sucks.


- Lucas


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